Shedding It

This week has been disappointing. I’ve given in to my love of food WAY too much, and I know when I weigh in on Monday, I’ll suffer the consequences…

I was really good about the WW points Monday and Tuesday, and, as I’m sure was made apparent by my last entry, my run on Tuesday had me really pumped up and feeling good. And then Wednesday hit. Wednesday I went out to dinner with some friends (2 of whom are also on the WW program, and were good about what they ordered, thus making my order even worse!). And it was wing night. And instead of ordering something low in points and sucking it up “for the greater good”, I ordered wings…and two beers. Boy did I pay for that later that night. My stomach hurt SO bad. And yet…

I didn’t let that stop me last night. Last night I came home from work with every intention of going for my run before my husband and I went out to run errands. And then my mom called. I’m not saying it’s her fault, because it’s not. But I let her phone call be my excuse to put off the run I had been looking forward to all day. And then, to make things worse, I decided it was a good idea to get Arby’s for dinner! 46 WW points later, and I’m over my daily limit, have used up all my weekly bonus points, all of the exercise points I got for running on Tuesday, and I’m in the negative. Yikes!

And here’s the worst/best part. I feel like crap. I’m mad at myself, the food made me feel sick, and now, instead of being pumped about getting healthy, I’m depressed and angry about it all. But, the reason I say this is also the best thing is this: I can actually acknowledge that my feelings of anger and frustration with this process are directly related to my making poor choices. And now, I have both those feelings AND my good feelings after my run on Tuesday down on paper so to speak. So, next time I think I want chicken wings, or fast food, I can have a reminder that those choices, while yummy at the moment I make them, in the long run make me feel like crap, both physically and emotionally.

But I know this is always going to be a challange for me. Especially since, for now at least, my husband is one of those annoying people with endless amounts of motivation. This means he has no problem getting himself to work out 5 days a week, which, in turn, means he gets to eat whatever the hell he wants and never gains weight. It’s annoying, and it makes it harder for me to make good decisions. I know there are probably a lot of women out there who have this same problem. Lots of men can eat whatever they want without worrying they’ll put on 10 lbs from one slice of cheesecake. And when we are always with these men, and eating meals with them, it’s so much easier to just go with it, to just eat whatever they’re eating. I mean, who RELALY wants to order a salad with dressing on the side when their guy just ordered the most delicious looking burger with fries and a beer!? No one! It’s hard! Really hard! And frustrating. And unfair. And a million other things I can complain about, but that’s not the point, is it? The point is that it’s the reality of the situation and I’m just going to have to find some way of keeping myself motivated in situations like that.

I thought about making the background on my phone a picture of some article of clothing I want, but know won’t look as good until I lose the weight. But the idea of that made me feel kind of bad, like I wasn’t good enough until then. I don’t know, maybe I’m looking too far into it. Or maybe I should think of something else to make my background. Something to remind me what I’m working towards. So that everytime I’m tempted to order chicken wings, or eat whatever my husband’s eating, I can just look at my phone and remind myself why I should order the salad or the grilled chicken. Hmm…I’ll have to think about this some more.

I do have some other ideas I found while reading other people’s weight-loss blogs, surfing through pintrest, and a few other places. Once I put them into action, I’ll blog about them and how I feel they’re working.

As for today, I’ve been really good. I discovered Progresso Light soups! They’re great, and most are only like 2 WW points! Guess I found my lunch for the forseeable future! I WILL go running tonight when I get home from work. I will. I will. I will. (I’m hoping repeating it over and over again will keep my motivation up!!) I’ll blog all about it tomorrow!